61 Reasons Why Cucumbers Better Than Men

  1. With easy to learn cucumber, cucumber may feel at the supermarket and you find out hard or not.
  2. With a cucumber you never find dirty socks in his underwear.
  3. Cucumber will not make you a birthday gift for your account.
  4. Cucumber will not teach you to wash the windows, clean fish, cook a steak.
  5. Cucumber will never present you as a "just friend".
  6. Cucumber does not bring you to tears.
  7. Cucumber will not ask, "I have you first?"
  8. Cucumber will not tell other cucumbers that you have this "first".
  9. Cucumber will not tell other cucumbers that you do not have it "first".
  10. With cucumber need not be the innocent more than once.
  11. Cucumber will not write your name and address in the men's room.
  12. Cucumber does not require that the house you look sexy, but on the people, "decent".
  13. Cucumber does not run in the morning, not a diet. do not collect coins, money, girlfriends, etc.
  14. Cucumber does not notice a gray hair in your hair.
  15. Cucumbers do not care if others notice it.
  16. Cucumber is not interested in your age.
  17. Cucumber will not say: "From an abortion no one has ever died".
  18. Cucumber will not lose the keys to your apartment at a football match.
  19. Cucumber will not ask: "Who says?" When you are asked for the phone.
  20. Cucumber without spending all your pocket change at their cigarettes.
  21. Cucumber will not be lecturing about the clutter in your room.
  22. Cucumber is not jealous of your colleagues, your dentist or schoolmate.
  23. Cucumber will not ask: "What today's dinner?" at a time when you get back from work.
  24. Cucumber not made a wry face wry, when you have a headache.
  25. Cucumber will never say: "What's that pretty girl is walking alone here?"
  26. In cucumber there is no irritation in the morning, and they do not mind yours.
  27. Cucumbers are neither too stupid or too clever.
  28. Cucumbers do not grow bald, do not grow their abdomen, are not stingy in his old age.
  29. Cucumbers do not eat crackers in bed.
  30. Cucumbers are inexpensive.
  31. Cucumbers do not stick in the street with an invitation to "listen to the music".
  32. Cucumber does not turn your closet into a reading room, rummaging in your medicine cabinet without demand, leaving stubble in the sink, gold rings in the bathtub, forgets to pull the handle of the toilet, wets sitting on the toilet, is indelible socks.
  33. Cucumbers do not have to "call my wife."
  34. Cucumber will not leave you at a young beauty, or a professor's daughter.
  35. Cucumber is not playing in a rock band and not "looking for himself" up to 40 years.
  36. With a cucumber you do not risk one day to find that he is married or sympathize with you, but would prefer your sister.
  37. Cucumber will not solve your crossword puzzles in ink.
  38. In the cucumber does not grow hair at five o'clock in the morning.
  39. Cucumber does not require you to keep in mind, where his keys, matches, slippers, a screwdriver, finally!
  40. Cucumber is not "too busy" just as the day when you bring the TV out of repairs.
  41. Cucumber no drives the longing in your stories, "But in our army".
  42. Cucumber will not ask: "Who will sit with the children?" When you are going to write a dissertation.
  43. Cucumber does not require you to narozhali him a lot of little cucumbers.
  44. Cucumber will not say, "Let's try, yet it's a boy".
  45. Cucumber does not require a breakfast in bed.
  46. Cucumber does not read your letters, diaries and do not like scenes from a reading.
  47. With a cucumber you can not change neither the name nor the plans to life, no place to live.
  48. Cucumber not reproach you for child support, which pays for their pickles.
  49. Cucumber will not: show the dust on the cabinet, where it does not get it, to demonstrate karate on your shelves, pick one's teeth at the table at a party, keep dirty shoes in the middle of a communal hallway, pepper and salt of your eggs, arguing that "so tasty".
  50. The next morning a cucumber will not: say, "Let's stay friends", offer to call a taxi for you, go away for a month, without explanation, will tell you that he is "not of those who marry" will call "mom", wife or friend.
  51. Cucumber not to smoke your last cigarette at 12 o'clock at night.
  52. Cucumber will not leave the stain on his neck, which you'll find only at work.
  53. Cucumber not call you a false name and say, "op-pa" at the crucial moment.
  54. Cucumber not switch your program to your football without permission.
  55. Cucumber will not say: "I've always said that with short hair you look younger".
  56. Cucumber will not tell, that was delayed at work, and come with lipstick on his cheek.
  57. Cucumber will not ask: "Did you like that? But I'm better than him?"
  58. Cucumbers are not interested in your past relationships and do not like to talk about his.
  59. Cucumber will not say, "Turn to the economy had better" when you are going to see a friend.
  60. Cucumber will say: "Tomorrow I can not, in my fishing".
  61. Throw a cucumber - simple.